Abeiku – Italics
Pearl – Non-Italic
It’s been a loooong break from writing. Life is not easy at all but we thank God for strength. We hope all our wonderful readers are doing great. Today, Pearl has a little story for us.
A good number of my friends are huge fans of Korean drama series. Anyone who knows me knows I am not big on them. The reason is simple, the story is predictable. Point out the lead characters and I can say certainly if they are doused with litres of kerosene and lit up, they would still survive and live happily ever after.
I don’t know about you, but for the years I have been here; I have seen people rise and survive tragedies but I have also seen people who were once happy turn into complete strangers. It is not always a happily ever after story.
We can test this, if you’re in doubt. Put up your hand, if you are with the first person you had a crush on (well l didn’t end up as Mrs Walcott, so I know) or perhaps the fine boy in a sleek car who flashed his teeth at you, on your way to work? Guys you can flip the script around.
Growing up and having conversations with girls, often you’d realize we have an idea of the man we would want to be with, from a very young age. I don’t believe it is an entirely bad thing, but the danger is wanting that man to be exactly like men in a Korean series or a romance novel.
For a typical K- drama series, this is what the perfect boyfriend/ husband looks like. For the purpose of this piece, we would call him Ha Myung. He is the Perfect gentleman, 6ft, ready to defy all odds, even at the risk of his own life. It doesn’t matter to him , if it is in your home poverty is brewed, he is willing to give you the world. He cries just at the thought of losing you. It is not that Ha Myung has no flaws, but he’s quick to point them out and apologize. Ha Myung does these elaborate and extravagant dates just to prove his love. And it seems God blesses it all, by letting it rain after each date, so you both can run through amid giggles and kisses.
It’s easy to wish to be Ha Myung’s beloved after watching 23 episodes of k-drama series, till you are jolted back to life by a fart like Abeiku’s.
I said I would be quiet while she tells her story but I won’t keep quiet about this 😂. Her farts are worse than mine.
So this was our unscripted reality, and not a post asking you to be a sufferhead, because we don’t do that over here and Jesus has suffered already, so you won’t, Amen.
Don’t be a sufferhead indeed but don’t spend what you don’t have. If your partner can’t understand whatever situation you’re in and compromise, then I really don’t know what kind of relationship it is.
We were both students. And going on dates meant proper planning and execution. So whether it was restaurant or an activity type of date (go- karting), we would look up prices to have an idea of what to expect. Also, because Mr. Man and l had a tussle on us splitting equally, something which l didn’t mind at all.
I remember how I used to insist I wanted to bear the cost all the time mostly because we actually plan our activities months before they happen and so it was enough time to save up but little lady wasn’t having it. I mean a young boy whose parents brought me to school to get a degree was not supposed to be playing second dad 😂.
So on some dates, Abeiku covered it all and for many others, we went dutch.
There were random surprises which were well planned, for example for a birthday, if l wanted to buy a specific gift, l would save towards it and l am sure it’s the same from his end. Cos the parents said we should go and learn at school, if we decided to fall in love, then we must find a way (l sound like an african Mum now). The situation has changed. Now that we are both working, we don’t necessarily need specific days to get each other stuff. We can get each other’s stuff “just because”. I would randomly mention stuff in a convo and before l know it some delivery guy is calling to let me have it.
When we were in school, l knew my reality was different from someone who was probably dating an individual who was working. Just like me, he had parents who provided for his upkeep. Sure, he was doing some work occasionally on the side to earn some money but l knew a romantic getaway to Bali or some fanciful show like in a Korean series was a stretch. Because as I stated earlier , he has some goals as a young man and saving then and now, was a part of the plan.
So we may not be running through the rain after a romantic set up like in a Korean series, because he lives in Timbuktu now (don’t mind me) and we meet up looking like ninjas because Covid and we need to be safe.
Lol wherever I lived, I don’t believe we’d have to be running through rain to prove a point anyway. Also, I may never be 5’7 in my life as I am down to earth. I may not have a great voice and the nicest of faces or even the most money (I will make a lot though 🙏). I’m not saying settle for less at all. What I am saying is, no one is Perfect. Quite ironically, I’ve got her number saved on my phone as Perfect even though she also has her imperfections. However, I went in full well knowing these imperfections and have decided to see the perfection in them. I mean this may sound like some fake deep quote or it actually is a fake deep quote but you can’t spell imperfection without perfection.
In this reality, he is my loudest cheerleader, sending in information on how to add much more value to myself. So what is your reality? Are you ready for a relationship? Are you in a relationship or married? What’s your partner’s reality? What’s yours and how does it affect the dynamics in your relationship?