Out of Sight, Not Out of Mind

So we’ve had a million and one people asking us how we’re doing with the distance. Since it’s been a while since we’ve written anything, we’d just share our experience in writing. It’s not been easy, especially the fact that this is happening in the third year.

Distance, wheew! Technically speaking, l have always teased Abei that we have always been in a long distance relationship because he lives on a planet outside Accra (you don’t know?, ask him).

Afienya is not a planet outside Accra. She’s teasing me but doesn’t even know the way to her own house. 😂

Let me walk you through this part of our story. NSS done. We have a lot going, from volunteering activities to side jobs to looking for permanent employment. We have both been praying and putting in the work to get the actual jobs to build careers we each want for ourselves. (Let me not bore you with that process. We will share subsequently in another post).  

This was actually one of the toughest parts of our journey. Trying to find our feet while ensuring we don’t lose the basics holding us together. Around this time my dad had spoken to us both and even though there’s no pressure for anything, he had dropped a lot of nuggets and we were filled with fresh zeal to set up ourselves for a great life despite the current situation.

So we have our share of heartaches and then God comes through. I finally got a job l am excited to be a part of. We are still praying & believing God for Abei’s as well. Thankfully a friend of his sends through an application, he goes through a rigorous and challenging process, he is unsure he would make it. I assure him Grace took him that far, the same Grace will make him sail through. 

This period was very emotional for us. Pearl got hers first. I was really happy for her, while still believing mine would come through as well. There were times I felt down but she was always there, reminding me like the Holy Spirit haha. She always brings back examples of times I was worried about something and how God came through. Like literally every situation ever. Then we laugh about it. I don’t think it even took a month and it was already working out.

So after the entire process, which spanned about two weeks, the catch is he may be working outside Accra. I joke about how he is technically out of Accra & if it’s even Timbuktu we would be good. Then reality sets in. He is actually being placed out of Accra and he has less than a week to get to his new place of work. As much as l hate to break it, this is real life not a telenovela so the option of not taking the offer is not on the table at all. I would slap sense into him if he even considered that.

She didn’t have to do any slapping because I’d be foolish not to take it. If I don’t have money for the list, and to give us a good life, what’s the use? 😂

In between providing information and preparing for the new job, we have to squeeze in time and see each other for the last time, till God knows when. So l close from work at 5:30 ish and we have to meet up and talk. We meet up, have a good ol’ convo and laugh like Monsieur is not leaving that weekend. We finally discuss the most important thing: “Do we still want an us, regardless of the distance?” Here is your telenovela moment: we do, and no l did not cry, I am not about to cry on some success we have been praying about.

I had a long day of getting things in order but it was mixed feelings for what used to make me happy: meeting Pearl. If you’re ever looking for us, check a Vida e Caffe near you. We talked and then there was reassurance. Look at Pearl saying she didn’t cry. Actually she didn’t. She’s a hard girl. Her friends used to call her ‘rock’ and were surprised someone had managed to let her put down her walls lmao that’s a story for another day though. Anyway back to the topic, iit was a special moment, approximately two months ago. We’d have weekends of seeing each other. We already should have, but corona smh.

For me, it began to hit when l began to properly reflect on the day he was moving. No more spontaneous drives in front of my house, asking me to get in for a ride. No more hangouts to try new stuff, hanging out with friends together, working on Pearple Read video content etc .  For about a week, l had a sweatshirt he gave me wrapped around my pillow. (That is the hard girl version of tears l guess). For us to achieve any of this needed a plan and we are both at new demanding jobs. Is us going to survive? Well we are still here, still growing. We may have certainly made MTN and Vodafone richer with bible study and prayer video calls, telling each other sweet nothings video calls, calls about ideas for Pearple and business, and most importantly about our plan for the future, as well as pictures and videos . One thing’s for sure though, communication has definitely turned up a notch .

I didn’t give her the sweatshirt she’s talking about lmaoo. She stole it on our trip to Zanzibar. Not just that but a tank top too. I’m buying all my shirts in pairs now. Anyway, it’s all she’s said. It’s basically been God and technology holding us down. We have the occasional disagreements and moments of anxiety but it is still working out like Armz Korleone in the gym.

This is not saying : l don’t have occasional moments when l think, what if? What if he meets someone intelligent, beautiful, God fearing all the specs you know 😉, but l am also reminded of the fact that these were not absent in our prior situation and he chose yours truly, so l believe he will keep choosing me, cos l am all that & more 🥰.

I equally have those ‘what if’ moments when I think someone may sweep her off her feet. Also, I understand her fear of my humanness causing me to seek companionship near me but I keep reassuring her. She chose me and I chose her. 

We know we want this. 

See you in our next post ,x

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